THAT BLOODY NOISE OFF!” Giles bellowed from the shower.
peeked into the bathroom and grinned suggestively as his eyes slid over
Giles’ body. “And what if I don’t?” he asked.
told you time and again, the Clash, yes, the Sex Pistols, bloody
fucking no!” Giles said,
disappeared and the Pistols became even louder.
gritted his teeth and tried to think of a suitable punishment.
“Harder, Watcher,” Spike groaned.
Giles whispered against the skin of Spike’s back, thrusting inside him
with long, slow strokes and reaching around to touch him lightly,
“Fuck,” Spike hissed in frustration,
rocking back against him hard, trying to spur him on.
Giles murmured, grinning, wrapping his arms around Spike’s waist and
biting and licking lightly at the back of his neck. “But slowly.”
fuck, it’ll take forever at this rate,” Spike moaned.
ran one hand over Spike’s back, looking at him in wonder. “Fuck, Spike, but you’re beautiful.”
am, aren’t I?”
smacked him hard on the ass and Spike snickered, and then he moaned as
Giles rammed into him hard and fast for a few seconds before slowing
Christ, Watcher, please,”
Giles panted. “It will be worth it.”
volume of Spike’s bellow when he finally came proved Giles’ words to be
bleedin’, I can smell it,” Spike said, stepping out of the darkness as
Giles fumbled with the lock on his front door.
someone or . . . something caught me in the side when we were in the
Initiative,” Giles said, wincing and dropping his keys.
now,” Spike said, putting one hand to the small of Giles’ back to
steady him and bending down to pick up the keys and unlock the door.
“You all right?” he asked as he ushered Giles into the flat.
fine,” Giles grumbled, collapsing on the couch.
see,” Spike said, hiking up Giles’ sweater to reveal a long, deep gash
in his side. “Bloody hell.”
just a flesh wound.”
snorted. “You know, that was bloody fuckin’ funny the first five
hundred times I ever heard it,” he said, frowning and running his
fingers gently along the gash. He stared at the wound and the blood
seeping from it, and then up at Giles, and suddenly there was a thrum
in the air that was almost electrical that made the hair on the back of
Giles’ neck stand on end.
started to pull away, looking somewhat frightened, but Giles caught him
by the back of the neck. “You want to . . .”
No, I don’t!” Spike said.
do.” Giles stared at Spike, eyes dark. “Go on.”
I can’t, I don’t know if . . .”
it,” Giles whispered, tugging Spike closer. Spike’s nostrils flared and
he stared at Giles.
Spike asked, frowning.
curiosity,” he said, smiling slightly.
know what they say about curiosity,” Spike murmured and then leaned in.
At the first touch of his tongue on jagged flesh Giles jumped, the
thrum vibrating through the air now singing through his body, and as
Spike licked and sucked and made muffled noises of satisfaction Giles
found himself, in spite of his exhaustion, wanting him, wanting him
hard and wanting him now.
Spike’s mouth was on his, the coppery tang of his own blood coming back
to him. “Jesus,” he whispered against Spike’s mouth. “What does it feel
like when you actually bite?”
very, good,” Spike whispered, sliding his hand down the front of Giles’
jeans. “And then you die.”
laughed in spite of himself.
night he dreamed, crimson-tinted images of death.
on, where the hell you goin’?” Spike mumbled, grabbing Giles’ arm as he
started to slide out of bed.
Giles said, rolling his eyes at himself even as he said it.
fuckin’ hell, you’re right,” Spike said and leapt over the railing and
bounded on to the couch.
shook his head and took the more usual route down the stairs, and
wondered how it had ever come about that he would have a naked vampire
leaping with such athletic grace about his flat. He sighed and sat down
on the sofa and they both took up their regular positions, Giles with
his feet propped on the coffee table and Spike’s head resting against
his thigh, Giles’ hand on the back of Spike’s neck.
propped his head against his other and ran his thumb lightly across the
short hair on the back of Spike’s neck. It had been over two months
since Spike had first crawled into his bed, and he’d very rarely been
out of it since. What he’d been doing and why had been weighing on his
mind for a long while now. Giles wondered at his own motivations; was
he doing this because Spike could help, had helped? Had he used Spike
as a weapon against Adam and the Initiative? Did he actually care for Spike, was it even possible to care for a vampire?
thought about Buffy and Angel and decided that must be different, Angel
was ensouled, after all. Spike was simply muzzled, and despite the time
they’d spent together since Spike had escaped the Initiative, Giles was
troubled to realize that he still didn’t trust Spike, at least not
completely, and had no idea what might happen if the chip were removed.
he remembered that Spike had tasted him, licked at his blood, but had
attempted nothing more.
then again, there was the chip.
stared down at Spike for a long time, thinking too much, confused and
worried, wavering about what he needed to do, and the entire time he
kept his hand on Spike, his thumb brushing across Spike’s neck and
smiling slightly every time Spike shivered.
Affection without trust? Yet here it was. He was dancing with the
darkness, and he was enjoying it, and he was terribly afraid it was
going to swallow him whole. It had tried before, when he was young, and
he’d had to pay the price.
hauled Spike across his lap suddenly and leaned down to kiss him hard.
now,” Spike murmured, smiling up at him lazily. “What’s got into you?”
I hope,” Giles whispered, kissing him again and deciding as he did so
that he had to end this, and was startled to realize that just the
thought of it hurt down to the very marrow of his bones.
my dear. Just wondering when you were arriving.”
you pawnin’ me off on Harris, eh? Gettin’ rid of me? Company comin’?
Some bird?” Spike spat, pacing angrily in front of Giles where he
leaned up against the wall, arms crossed.
Spike, she’s an old friend of . . .”
gonna fuck her?” Spike demanded, shoving his face into Giles.
eyes hardened. “None of your goddamned business. Our little interlude
is over, Spike.”
“Interlude? What’s this all about,
then? Provin’ your manhood?”
has nothing to do with my sexuality, Spike. It has everything to do
with my humanity,” Giles
said, voice low and hard.
stumbled back a bit, looking hurt and angry and confused. “So that’s
it, then? I’m soilin’ your precious, fuckin’ humanity? You sure as fuck didn’t
seem to have a problem with it when you had me on all fours, now, did
. . .”
up! This was never even about me, was it? Not me,” he shouted, pounding one fist
against his own chest. “You were fuckin’ usin' me, keepin’ the vampire
happy on the leash until the good guys won. Well, good on you, Rupert, worked real well, had me
fooled but good.” Spike grabbed the small bag with his meager
belongings and started to storm out the door.
Harris I’m makin’ other arrangements,” Spike yelled over his shoulder
and disappeared into the night.
almost ran after him. Almost.
he sighed and scrubbed at his face and looked around the flat. Too
quiet. Too grey. All the color gone.
right thing, he told himself. He’d done the right thing, no matter how
much it hurt. No matter how much it hurt the both of them.
. . vampires can’t feel . . .
. . this one does . . .
enjoyed Olivia’s visit. She stayed for three weeks and they laughed and
drank and reminisced and slid into his bed every night, and he tried
his damnedest to hide inside her.
after he’d bid her an affectionate goodbye, he realized nothing had
changed. His thoughts were still elsewhere, somewhere out there in the
dark and the dank.
after too many nights when the bed seemed too big and the flat seemed
too quiet, he slid into his clothes and went out hunting in the
darkness, for the darkness.
sat in the blackness of the crypt, slouched down low in the single
chair, cigarette in his hand and bottle of whiskey by his side. He
didn’t look up when Giles entered, instead staring at the ground.
the fuck are you doin’ here?” he muttered, flicking his still-burning
cigarette at Giles’ feet. “Come for a roll in the dirt, muck up your
stubbed out the cigarette with his toe, trying to fight down a wave of
frustration and longing at the sight of him. “I owe you,” he said,
tossing a wad of cash into Spike’s lap.
snorted. “Well, if that doesn’t make me feel the whore, I don’t know
what will,” he said bitterly, flinging the money back in Giles’ face.
not my intention,” Giles said through clenched teeth.
the fuck is your intention,
Watcher?” Spike mumbled, lighting another cigarette.
owe you. For your help, with Ethan.”
yes. Demon Watcher. Coulda killed you then, now I wish I would’ve.”
was surprised at how much that stung. “You don’t mean that.”
Spike looked at him. “Don’t I?”
stared at one another for a long while in silence, each studying the
us,” Giles said finally. “Help us. You could prove an invaluable asset
. . .”
here we go again, talkin’ about me like I’m some kind of thing.”
sighed, frustrated, and rubbed at his brow. He was going about this all
wrong. “Spike, I didn’t mean . . .”
say lots of things you don’t mean, now don’t you? Quite the
accomplished liar, a bit like myself, hats off and all that rot.”
. . .”
want me, don’t you?” Spike asked suddenly, voice low and sultry.
pulled up, surprised and struggling with himself over what to say.
“Yes,” he whispered finally. “But that’s not the point.”
laughed, an ugly sound. “Course it is. Sorry, old man, can’t have me.”
for Christ’s sake . . .”
the fuck outta here, Watcher, I can smell her all over you. And take
your bleedin’ money with you.”
. . .”
Spike bellowed, suddenly in Giles’ face. “Take your fuckin’ money and
go!” He flashed the wad of cash in Giles’ face and then stuffed it down
Giles’ pants pocket, deliberately sliding his fingers alongside Giles’
cock as he did so. Giles gasped and stumbled a bit at the rush of
sensation and reached out to steady himself against Spike, but Spike
shoved him away.
out, Rupert,” he mumbled,
turning and stalking with cat-like grace back to his chair. “Ain’t
nothin’ for you here. Not anymore.”
turned on his heel and stormed out.
three nights he drank too much and thought too much, and then on the
fourth night as he sat on the sofa he felt a surge in his blood and was
on his feet and striding toward the door even as it slammed open, and
he met Spike more than halfway, arms open and mouth hungry, and they
struggled angrily against one another, fighting for more, more touch,
more taste, more scent, and Spike slammed him up against the wall,
ramming himself up between his thighs and he grunted in pain and in
again, Watcher,” Spike hissed, humping up against him frantically.
“You’ll never do that to me again, never
make me feel less than . . .”
Giles whispered, arms tight around Spike’s waist. “Never.” He slid one
hand around Spike’s neck and pulled him close, running his mouth over
Spike’s face and tasting tears, and something broke inside himself and
he was mindless, hands and mouth running furiously over Spike in a
delirium of lust and something else, something stronger, and Spike
growled and responded in kind, and they fell into a graceless, frantic
pile on the floor, lost in one another.
thought came to Giles, unbidden and fleeting, as he struggled with his
body to take all of Spike that he could take, that yes, this one does.
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